Ūlialia

*Best read sideways on mobile devices

You don’t see it when it’s there.

Hidden in a series of moments
that’s not apparent like an object or the blowing air.
Sometimes we try to look around
but because we’re looking it can’t be found.
It is a thing that cannot be coerced
nor manufactured and even rehearsed
It arrives like the wind but disappears like a draft.
Coming in pieces like a puzzle
the pattern portrayed is not clear
because there is simultaneous joy
and the shedding of a tear.

The laughter we hear that pierces the soul
shakes and trembles the body, only to resemble
ourselves becoming whole.
Hard not to stare or glance or even glare.
Most times we pretend there’s nothing there.
It can be missed in the constant occurrence of coincidences,
or lost by a welcoming smile and comfortable silence
that might put us at ease, if only for a while.
It is the differences and similarities
that attract like opposite polarities.
A push and pull so overwhelming and strong
that it feels like it shouldn’t belong,
In that moment or at that time.

There’s an unnatural urge to fight the surging smile
or beat back the butterflies that end up choking rational thought.
Words become meek and stuttered
because the flutters distort the voice.
We can rejoice in the fact that serendipity is not exact.
It just simply attracts like the heavens and the Earth.
The point is not to fight or be beat by fright
caused by a swarm of emotions.
But to examine the notion that the buzzing feeling
is only revealing what it means to be fully alive.

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